Negative space
On big feelings
And just like that seven weeks have past and half term is almost upon us.
Much of my time over the past few weeks has been spent trying to bring some order to my days and get back into the routine and rhythm of the school term. I’ve been trying hard to find my feet as I face another dip in freelance work and wonder if chasing this writing dream is what I should be doing. Negative space has filled out the edges of my weeks and I have been quiet on here and elsewhere.
Big feelings have bracketed my days as I’ve made lunch boxes, retrieved school shoes from under sofas, written in reading records and held small ones who don’t want to go to school and who return home exhausted and overstimulated.
At times the frustration of trying to hold all these things turns into cross words and a sense of failure as I realise what used to work to help soothe my children doesn’t work any more. As my children mature the wisps of childhood innocence fades yet further into the distance and they are exposed to so much more of the darkness of this world.
I question how I can protect, nurture and care for them.
How can I shelter them from the dark and scary bits yet support them to find resilience, strength and flourish?
It’s not unfamiliar territory, in fact it’s very familiar.
In fact, much of my motherhood finds form in questioning myself and what I’m doing.
It also finds form in the repetition of folding, the washing, the cooking, the holding, the wiping.
It also finds form in bearing witness and recognising what a privilege it is to hold small ones in my arms when others across the world have lost their loved ones and live under the constant threat of violence.
It also finds form in the tired lines across my face, in the bags under my eyes and in the baggy outline that now encloses my body.
And it also finds form in the negative space that has filled these past few weeks and in realisation that I will always be a beginner.
And what a gift and a privilege there is in beginning again.
As we head towards November, I’m really looking forward to running some more co-writing sessions. These are free to attend and you can dip in and out of the sessions whenever fits with your schedule.
What to expect
The sessions will last approximately one hour and fifteen minutes with a moment to pause and ground ourselves at the beginning and time at the end to have a little catch up (should you wish).
You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to bring anything specific to work on (I'll share a prompt in the chat), you don’t have to have your camera on, the whole idea is just showing up and spending some time with your words in the company of others.
Dates
These sessions will be free and will take place at the following times and dates on zoom:
November
Fri 8 Nov | 9.15 – 10.30 UK time
Mon 11th Nov | 13.00 – 14.15 UK time
Mon 18th Nov | 13.00 – 14.15 UK time
Fri 22nd Nov | 9.15 – 10.30 UK time
Mon 25th Nov | 13.00 – 14.15 UK time
Please email me if you want a little nudge to remember on the day, please state REMIND ME PLEASE in the email and I can send you a reminder on the day.